Saturday, November 03, 2007

We Are as Unqualified as Parents As You Feared

So we're all standing around the island last night making our own pizzas. YUM-O. If you must know, Brad and I turned it up one louder by making ours barbeque chicken pizzas with grilled onions...drool.

All four of us stood around the island to eat because when you are 3 and 11/12ths and 5 years-old, you LOVE to do that stuff. NO CHAIRS! NO TABLES! NO NAPKINS! No food has been thrown yet, but trust me, we could go Animal House in a heartbeat.

Anyway, we were halfway through eating the pizzas and suddenly(!) we were all digging through our Halloween candy bags again.

Why finish pizza when the ONLY reason we're eating it is to get to the candy? Hmmmm...

So in our attempt to make candy even unhealthier than it already is, the kids (ok, Brad and I) decided to make cookies. In lieu of chocolate chips, of course, would be a wide assortment of Halloween candy. Except Skittles because they are disgusting anyway, LET ALONE ruining cookies.

The kids got knives out and chopped up Reese's, Snickers, Twix, Butterfingers, Hershey's, M&Ms...and we dumped it all into the cookie dough batter. No dark chocolate was harmed because I already confiscated those for personal reasons. Eh-hem.

After trick-or-treating, Jackson and Lilly initially tried to "enjoy" lesser candies like Tootsie-Rolls and Dum-Dums. Brad and I quickly halted that nonsense and gave them a Halloween Candy for Dummies tutorial. Our little forum discussed the merits of size (fun size > mini size), caliber (chocolate+nuts=highest echelon), taste, and proper sorting techniques. At the end, we threw away all hard candy with foreign names--Super Natilla, anyone?--and Gummy Body Parts.

Anyway, aesthetically, the batter looked a little...much. BUT YUMMY. No doubt about that.

So I was going to conclude about our fun night involving wrestling and video games and actually eating the cookies, but sadly, that is not all to the story.

Jackson came down at 2 a.m. You know why.

Let's just say I'm so glad Brad was home because when the TOP AND BOTTOM bunks are covered in puke, it is definitely a two-man operation. He left no sheet, quilt, comforter, mattress (how?!) and pillowcase unchunked. Brad and I used our best nasally voices to avoid joining the fun. This went on about hourly through the night. And continues...

Fear not, I made him a luxurious bed next to the toilet with a soft green bath mat and his Buzz Lightyear blanket.

In our defense--and to the hypochondriac crowd, this may not matter--I think this is an actual stomach bug, not candy overload. Brad has been sick on the road all week...

I suppose we'll have pizza leftovers tomorrow. Or more cookies.