I Was Not Kidding About Being the Most Terrible Photographer Ever

Today I will tell the story of our vacation through the eyes of the worst photojournalist you could imagine. Some of the characters will be missing and key events will not be recorded. But hey, that's why I've never been hired.

Here is Jackson laaaaaiiddd back (with his mind on his money and his money on his mind). Couldn't resist. He is sipping a strawberry daquiri and scoping out his next move (hot tub, lazy river, or waterslide?)



This next photo is not intentionally blurry. Oh, no. I was trying to capture just how relaxed we all feel when we put on our Vacation Goggles of Sluggardness.

Don't you just feel the breathlessness as Jackson and Lilly see who can hold their breath the longest? No wonder they sleep so well at night. Gasping for air for 3 hours is serious business.

Lilly actually came up for a breath here to show us some of her syncronized swimming moves. This didn't last long before she went back to trying to drown herself. The seafoam green wristband is her favorite fashion accessory.

Now this is when things get really ugly.

I tried WITH ALL MY MIGHT to get photos of Jackson coming down the waterslide. It was a proud moment and I wanted to capture his expressions. You know, a picture is worth a thousand words.

Undeterred, I had him run up the steps and Try It Again, Buddy! I'm going to really anticipate this time and when I hear him coming down, I will take the photo!


Getting better, but still very, very bad.

I know, there is no excuse for this level of incompetence. Just remember I am excellent at baking cookies.

Lilly, on the other hand met neither the height or weight requirements to ride the slide, but somehow coerced the lifeguard to let her go (much like her first experience snow skiing.)

The only catch was that she couldn't swim against the whitewater rapid current at the bottom of the slide so I would have to jump in to wrangle her. I am positive she was the only one in line sucking her thumb.

The sweet lifeguard (part of the resort's High School Musical 2 cast, but anyway...) offered to take her picture while I hopped in as part of breaking all waterslide rules.

Here is the photo the lifeguard took on his first attempt. I was in the water to catch/save Lilly while he was acting like using the camera was no big deal.

My plan tomorrow is to go straight to Darren from North Dakota and force him to trail us like the paparrazi for the rest of the trip so we can have some decent documentation of all this fun.