I've Outsourced Myself

More than once this week, I opened my mouth to share some Must-Know news about our family and the listener stopped me before I had even told them the topic.

"Guess what?!" I always like to grab a friend's attention with a creative intro.

"I already read the blog."

"Buh...And....Uh" My mind quickly searches for any details I may have failed to blog about. But there are none.

You know, the intention of this whole Bloggy Wonderland was mostly for those far away. But being that I have fabulous friends, they all read along too, because they need assurance that I am the least sane among them, which I happily prove with each and every post.

"But there is so much more to me than the blog!" I want to shout. Ok, not really, but I must pretend.

So, here are some things I typically discuss with friends that I have left off the blog:

1. Everything I eat/ate/plan to eat. Even though I have shared a few recipes, it is the tip tip teeny weeny tip of my recipe iceberg. You have NO IDEA how much restraint I'm showing in this department. Thank you, Holy Spirit.

2. Every page of the Pottery Barn catalog.

3. And Pottery Barn Kids.

4. And Southern Living.

5. Hair...how it looks today, how it looked at its best, and my plans for its future. This is usually a lengthy conversation.

6. What Allison wore as host of "The Biggest Loser." Her wardrobe has been outstanding this season although the tanning is a little over the top.

7. Plans for Lilly's birthday party. It is really anti-climactic for all of my friends and their children because I involve them in the brainstorming, overly-involved crafts, and menu-planning. Last year, I even assigned them all actual jobs at the party. Luckily, they are gracious enough to show up and act excited.

8. The grand opening of the Grand Lux Cafe on November 30.

9. All the other restaurants I want to go to and what I will order.

10. Local newscasters and their personal lives, in which I am very interested.

11. The Food Network. Because, y'all, it is SO AMAZING. I am constantly searching for the perfect occasion to have a clambake and serve Ina's chocolate cake with REAL, OH GOSH IT'S REAL AND MAY SIMULATE HEAVEN buttercream frosting.

So now, in a horrible stroke of irony, I've just ruled out 11 more topics that will no longer catch you by surprise when I try to banter in Real Conversation about our fun lives.

DANG!

The internet can be so tricky sometimes.