On the Run

Lilly Says:

If I wrote about the nutty things that fly fearlessly out of her mouth each day, there would not be a blog grand enough to contain them. So I will thoughtfully condense her best material into a weekly digest for your reading pleasure.

Spanking (one of her favorite topics)

"Mommy, I don't think you should spank me."

"Why not?" I am holding the spanking spoon & explaining to her that I must do this so she will remember the consequences next time she decides to disobey.

"Because, I will remember better if you don't spank. I will think to myself, 'Remember when Mommy didn't spank me?' and I will not hit Jackson again."

"Right. I am still going to spank you, Lilly."

"Then can you just do gentle pats like Daddy does?"

Spanking, Part II

"Mommy, I was at Rhianna's house and she doesn't have a spanking spoon."

"Really." I sigh, knowing where this is headed.

"When Rhianna disobeys, she just goes to her room and cries. I asked her Mommy to see the spanking spoon drawer and she told me they don't have one. Isn't that great?"

"Did you tell Rhianna about our spanking spoon?"

"Yes, I told her it was big and blue and I get spanked all the time."

"Super. I'm sure the authorities will be calling any minute."

Clean Sheets

"Mommy, I have the dirtiest, hurtiest bed in the world."

"Lilly, that is because you insist on sleeping with your styrofoam pumpkin that has glitter all over it. Now there is glitter all over your sheets and it feels like a sandbox in there."

"That is not true. The builders of our house made me a scratchy bed on purpose. My pumpkin would never do that to me."