Monday, December 03, 2007

My Pants are NOT Any Looser

First of all, I would like to tell you that it is December. For real. My heart palpitates a little when I say that out loud, but I will forge on with the merriment.

Secondly, you all know it would take an act of God or Violent Illness to keep me from posting for a few days, especially when there is Birthday Talk to cover.

So, the answer is "B," I was violently ill for a "short" period of time unless YOU were the one awake all night, freezing to death, and vomiting uncontrollably at which time "short" can be characterized more like "eternal."

Warning to Mandie: You might not want to read on. I am serious.

The flu is never kind because the chills and achiness alone seem hard to cure. No matter how many medicines I take (and I do believe I tried them all on Saturday night) none seem to remedy the feeling of being hit by a snow plow and thrown to the side of the road, then lying in the snow and freezing to death while waiting for rescue by a winged stranger.

I shivered in bed, wide awake, praying for sleep to overcome me, with the mattress pad heater on HIGH all night long and yet I still had on two sweatshirts to keep warm.

Fun stuff.

Then began the vomit. Of course, I won't describe it, except to say it's just as bad as I remembered. Or maybe worse.

But then, as a way to comfort myself, halfway through the uncontrollable reverse peristalsis, I started to think about a friend of mine who recently found herself in the same boat of sickness. It wasn't pleasant, but she happily reported a few days later that she dropped SIX WHOLE POUNDS from all the upchucking.

That, my friends, is a silver lining if I ever heard of one.

From 3 a.m. on, I tried to console myself knowing that all this misery would be worth it if I was able to step into my jeans without so much as a shimmy and feel red carpet-worthy next time I dressed up for a Christmas party.

Fortunately (if my goal was health) or unfortunately (if my goal was weight loss) the sickness did not last long enough to affect my weight either way.

Also, I had eaten untold amounts of double-chocolate pound cake the day before. If anything, I came out even on the deal.

All that to say, I was very busy being sick and hoping for weight loss this weekend.

Oh, and there was a great birthday party, my in-laws came to visit, and we saw the Parade of Lights.

More on the actual high points to come...


CrownLaidDown said...

Really? Parker? I'm just south of you!

I saw your comment on BooMama's soup post. I look forward to reading your recipe!

PS I hope you are all better now!