Wednesday, August 03, 2011

With Apologies to AC/DC

Look who I sent off to 4th and 2nd grade today...

{gasp of disbelief}

And for all of you AC/DC fans...YES, our theme was "Back in Black."

In the past we've had the privilege of wearing awesome t-shirts with the MIGHTY Golden Retriever mascot on the front.


But due to some budget cuts, we got to wear our own non-canine black clothing.


J had some major nervousness last night, so we talked and cried through it. He couldn't articulate exactly what was bothering him {I knew it wasn't fear over long division and the four types of topic sentences...even though that's what he said.}

"Mom, that's why I said I'm OVERWHELMED. It's so much of everything and words can't describe it."

I couldn't really argue with that.

This morning, after some syrupy french toast, cheesy eggs, and strawberries on the red plate, he was feeling more confident.

Since we'd been gone all summer, J hadn't seen many friends. As they swarmed him and called out his name, his familiar, comfortable smile returned.

He bear-hugged all of his peeps, even though I could tell most of the boys would rather bump knucks. He is a lover. And I love that about him.

Lilly was calmer...mostly to play spoiler to Jackson's nerves. But that's ok...less drama for me:)

The first thing every friend noticed was her braces. And she handled it great.

Even though it's her least favorite thing about herself right now.

After I dropped them off...two wonderful things happened.

Firstly, I didn't cry this year. Not a tear. Not that it wasn't a happy/sad thing. It was.

My heart still hurt in a strange way. But strength doesn't come without strain, and the strain {yes, theirs and mine} is necessary.

Last year my tears flooded the neighborhood. FOR DAYS. By having both kids in school all day, I realized I was grieving a season of life that included kids who spent most of their time at home with me.

The shooting pain that knotted my heart only lasted a few weeks, and I was actually thankful to have the capacity to deeply feel the transition from a house of preschoolers to a home of school-aged kids.

It was a merciful reminder that I promised them to the Lord from the time they were born, and any feelings of control I have are just an illusion. In my heart of hearts, I really don't want them for me anyways. Because they are His first.

They're the best gifts I've ever been given, and I can't express thanks in any bigger way than to hold them with an open palm.

{Why is my throat is feeling tight?}


I TOTALLY forgot {until my dad called from the airport}, that he was coming to town today!

It was the best surprise, even though it was fully due to my faulty memory, not an actual *surprise.*

So when the kids burst out of school to see Papa standing there...awesomeness:)

And when we ate our way through the Grand Lux, culminating with a Deep Dark Chocolate Fudge Cake...I was reminded that if happiness had a flavor, it would be chocolate.

Now those babies that are so big and so small all at once are asleep.



Ashley said...

i think about lily's braces a lot...per your talk at the retreat! :)