I Only Hold Records for Idiocy

Friday was our third theme day of school colors/corny sayings. {As if having the Golden Retriever for your mascot isn't corny enough.}

But golden retrievers are faithful, loyal, friendly, enthusiastic, and fantastic readers--all perfect attributes for students.

I think we had to get RED-y to Learn!

Or something like that.

L & A rocked their Fourth of July wear--which is what you do when you go to school this early in August.

This included the before-school phone call to confirm outfit choice. Actually, it was a text. When did 2nd grade become jr. high?

Since we're not ready to surrender to summer, we celebrated the first 3 days of school with a sleepover.

They jumped on the tramp for hours, devoured grilled pizza, and even opted for a homemade ice cream sundae bar over a run for frozen yogurt.

And in one swift move, two nights of 8:30 bedtimes were crushed and exhaustion set in again.The girls cuddled up in bed and watched "Because of Winn-Dixie" {we carried the dog theme to extreme}.

Jackson & Zach watched "National Treasure," declaring it the coolest movie of their lives. Until next week.

Part of Saturday's unbelievable excitement included a drive-by of houses to check out the shutter situation.

Brad is determined to make the shutters, and I'm thinking that's not a great idea right now. He just finished up a summer-long flooring project, then cleared 37 power tools out of the garage so he can park in there for the first time in 2011.

And I actually had crown moulding next on the docket...NOT shutters. But we'll see.

So after those three days of black, gold, and red, today the kids could let loose with their own school wardrobe choices. Lilly grabbed exactly what she wore yesterday out of the hamper, which suddenly made me long for a dog shirt.

The kids were out the door at 9:05, leaving my day potentially filled with productivity and accomplishment.

That lasted until about 9:30 a.m.

Yes. Those are my keys. In the my car. With the doors locked. {AGAIN!!!!!} Attached to my water bottle, which will prove to be the worst part of the deal.

Arriving at the gym at 9:20, I slammed the door at 9:20:02 and realized my grave error.

Luckily, I was meeting an awesome friend, and she offered to give me a ride home so I could grab the other set of keys.

{Ironically, she is the same friend I saw two weeks ago while I was out running. I had gotten wrapped up in some music and found myself 7 miles into a run and not exactly near home. At a stoplight, I saw her car and I jumped in the front seat before she could refuse my sweaty self.}

In light of the previous rescue, I didn't want to make her drive me back to the gym. I needed to run anyway, so even though it was 95 degrees out, it sounded like a good idea to run 5 miles back to the gym incredibly thirsty, clutching a key, and starving.

My logic: wrong.

We had just finished barbell and I did it waterbottleless, so my mouth was already like dry-sponge. I was hungry, but didn't want to eat because eating before a run doesn't really go well for me.

5 mile run + exhausted muscles + heat + dehydration + sketchy stomach = "discomfort"

My arms dangled from my shoulder sockets like limp spaghetti and even my triceps were throbbing. {I know the tricep isn't one of the larger muscle groups involved in running, but that just shows my level of bodily distress.}

However, the REAL bodily distress came about halfway through when I started praying my entire digestive tract would be raptured.

I'll spare you any further details.

By the time I finally got home {at 1 p.m.}, my visions of productivity had been replaced with hunger hallucinations. I may have eaten cardboard at that point, but I do know it was delicious.

My thought process was a little blurry at this point, but I remembered I had a free Starbucks drink that expired today, so suddenly caffeinating myself seemed urgent.

Something about an iced coffee was surprisingly refreshing, but somehow my senses were still a little dull. Who knows where the time went, but I found myself racing against time and traffic to get home before school got out.

And Little Miss Sunshine got there at the exact same time.

And then I couldn't stop eating for the next 5 hours. And I'm STILL hungry.