Look What My 30's Have Done

*WARNING* If you know me even a little bit, several things in this post will be shocking.

I had to put *WARNING* in red because that is a double-meaning to *WARN* you that you will be shocked. (Shocked!)

Check out the amazingness of Cinderella's castle:

I will not lie: I got TEARY-EYED when I saw it from afar on the Monorail.

TEARY.

It was absolutely beautiful, more gigantic than I could've imagined, and gorgeously located in the middle of the Magic Kingdom.

If I ever travel to Europe and see the Sistene Chapel, I guarantee you I will not think of Mr. Famous Painter and then get teary.

But Disney World and it's castle made for a PRETEND person who is FAKE? Oh yes.

Let's zoom in closer:

I'm sure the alarm-bells are clanging in your tired head already.

Nicole, the Sworn Hater of All Things Character, is wearing a Mickey Mouse shirt and so are my offspring and husband.

Since Jackson's birth, I'd relegated character wear to pajamas because I cannot handle them on clothing any other time of day. In my mind, a Lightning McQueen t-shirt was only acceptable when tucked neatly under the covers for 11 hours where no one has to actually look at it.

But my inner nerd came out and I demanded that we all hike through Disney World looking every bit the part of lame tourists and total geeks.

And it was great!

The next sign of My Personal Crazy was that I absolutely adored the parades and shows.

In my former life, I was only gung-ho for upside down roller coasters and other thrill-seeking adventures not involving circular motions.

But I found myself checking the time and scheduling fun around parade and show schedules.

My favorite characters of the whole deal were Cinderella's stepsisters. They were evil and mean and heckled the crowd and even better actresses than in the movie.

Cinderella herself was amazing (of course) and Snow White was probably the most beautiful human I have ever seen. (Except this insanely gorgeous French model we met and I can't even describe her hair without getting teary because it is more magical than the entire Kingdom.)

Anyway, the princesses were unbelievable and had this wave thing that was so non-Miss America. It was like they were yo-yoing sideways while working on their Olympic Ribbon Waving routine. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.

Here is the Fairy Godmother, who Lilly also got to meet in person right outside the aforementioned castle. When she signs her autograph, she draws her magic wand and says "Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo" like 17 times and makes you want to hug her and ask her about Jack and Gus like they are REAL PEOPLE instead of rodents.

She is that convincing. Or I am gullible...but either way we are all happy!

Now comes the fun part. I decided that for Halloween, Brad would be Peter Pan and I would be Wendy Darling.

The thought of Brad in green tights hopping around all night made me laugh to no end. Plus, I was excited about wearing a costume that wasn't form-fitting and closely resembled a bath robe.

However, Brad is so quick to laugh at himself, that he showed almost too much excitement about the green tights, so I had to ki-bosh the whole deal.

{I just realized I have no idea how to spell ki-bosh...ky-bosh, kie-bosch, kybosh...}

Jackson loved Smee. I had no idea what his name was...just kept referring to him as Captain Hook's friend. But J gently corrected me and then I remembered that I've let him watch Peter Pan over 1 million times.

After the parade (the first parade of many parades), we headed to the world renowned Tomorrowland Speedway.

This was fantastic because it hadn't changed one bit since I was last there in 1982. Driving was something the kids took very seriously.

Thankfully, they have another decade before they are let loose on the streets. At this rate, Lilly will need the little guide rail in between her wheels for the rest of her life.

Before she'd proved that driving actually isn't her thing, they had handed her a driver's license, which she kept in her pocket and flashed around Main Street as often as possible.

I'm realizing I should clarify (with all these shameless photos of us in our character clothing), that since our return home, all shirts have been neatly tucked away in pajama drawers, only to be worn at night or in the privacy of our own closets.

After letting loose for a week and wandering around in clothing that screamed "Middle Aged Tourist Mom Nerd Reliving Childhood" I had to get back to my more sophisticated sweaty workout clothes and stained hoodies.

There is no telling how this picture of the Teacups made it's way into this lineup, but I don't really know how to delete it, so hopefully you can fully appreciate Brad working the spinner in such a way that he came out of there soaked in his own sweat.

Hopefully you can see these cute pumpkins:

More tomorrow!

(maybe)

Here We Go...

...with no promises to ever finish this project, I thought I'd start posting some of our pictures from the Happiest Place on Earth.

Here are my peeps in the airport (fake smiles...check!) and ready to go. They'd been eating, sleeping, and breathing all thoughts Disney for a few weeks and were finally ready to live the dream.

Our first stop (after grabbing FastPasses for some very important rides) was Aladdin's Magic Carpets. For me, the magical part was not puking while Jackson steered the magic carpets up and down with the finesse of a New York city taxi driver.

Lilly chauffered Grammy & Papa around and they lived to tell about it.

Next, we headed to one of my personal favorites, Thunder Mountain.

It had been 27 years since I'd crossed the turnstiles of the Magic Kingdom, and Thunder Mountain was one of my favorites.

{My VERY VERY VERY favorite, Space Mountain, was closed for 9 months for refurbishment while we were there. Yes, I was bitter.}

Anywho, Thunder Mountain lived up to my fantastic memories. Jackson and Papa took the initial ride together...

...and Lilly and Grammy screamed together.

Even though they loved it (we rode it at least 20 times throughout the week), Jackson NEVER stopped hating the part with the loud clacking tracks and the bats.

I sense Lilly didn't love that moment either.

After a billion rides on Thunder Mountain, we headed to the Astro Orbiter. Brad couldn't wait to pilot his own Vomit Comet.

At this point, it should be noted that I DO NOT partake in any rides that go around in a circle. I can't even watch the teacups without my stomach wretching.

Give me a roller coaster that goes upside down 10 times and corkscrews till I don't know which way is up, but SPARE ME the tilt-a-whirl effect.

{It started in the 80's when we were forced to ride backwards in the Way Back of a station wagon. That is just not natural.}

We moved on to Buzz Lightyear (not the same as ToyStory Mania...we'll get to that) and it was fantastic.

Love that it combines the greatness of a ride (well...sort of great, because I had great trouble steering and there is some iffy backwards motion) and the greatness of a video game.

Being that we've raised Jackson to treasure the Wii in his heart, this one was a hit.

The points competition among the adults became pretty intense, but the losers all found reasons to rationalize their sorry scores while the winners gloated and taunted the others for days.

Good times!

And more to come...

Another Teaser

Maybe it is the sheer number (300) of pictures staring me in the face that keeps me from even starting to post them.

So instead, here's a video of Lilly on Thunder Mountain.

The best thing about this clip is that this was filmed (Blair Witch Project style) on about her 20th ride on Thunder Mountain.

As you will see, the joy hadn't really diminished.

It's not exactly an Oscar contender for Best Cinematography, but keep in mind we were a) going fast, b) riding in the same car, and c) I am not noted for being able to photograph still-life, let alone roller coaster rides.

This About Says It All

Ah-hem.

I recognize that there is a lot of info I've left out in the past two months...

I've missed Ye Olde Blog, but haven't had time to give it any love.

And honestly, I don't have time right now...but I had to share a few of my favorite pictures from Disney World:

Having the best time in your life is really tiring.

And I'm not even including the photos I took of them asleep on the floor of the airport in the baggage claim (*SHUDDER*) because I can smell the filth through the screen.

{note: do not judge my hair. Splash Mountain does not offer blow dryers and/or styling products at the conclusion of the ride.}

So instead, here's one of them asleep in the waiting area of the airport.

Only barbarians would run their kids so hard that they were grasping for sleep anywhere and everywhere at the end of the week.

Guilty.

This is What you Might Call a Serious Lack of Blogging Mojoop

{I think I just proved my point, seeing as I was trying to type "Mojo"}.

Warning: All of the pictures you're about to see were taken 20 days ago.

I've been meaning to post them every single day since, but have been busy with things like cleaning out my office and finding tax returns from 2005, overdue library books, and warnings from the state patrol that my car registration is overdue and I will be led away in handcuffs next time I'm pulled over.

(If they can catch me, that is.)

So here is the first day of school:

Most of y'all know there is nothing on this earth I hate worse than a logoed t-shirt, but they were forced to wear them on the first day.

This of course, disrupts the deeply emotional process involved in selecting out the First Day Outfit.

But I am married to the winner of "Most School Spirit" {I wouldn't make that up} so he was thrilled.

Oh, speaking of The Mister, here he is at age 7. His alias is "Jackson."

Co-workers tell me that Brad sometimes strikes this pose after a successful meeting.

Or a great nap.

Now here is Little Miss Kindergarten:

You'll notice that since her t-shirt was a size XXXXL, we had to borrow some fashion tips from the local junior highers and work the rubberband trick in the back.

Lilly successfully scootered to school, then told me that she didn't have enough courage to ask her teacher where to put the scooter in her classroom.

Which, of course, forced me to ride it home.

After waiting for a few seconds, she reverted to the Lilly that we all know and love.

Now here she is with her friend, Audrey. They have sure shared some tender moments together.

I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping their little friendship will endure.

Because wouldn't these pictures be adorable when they are freshman in high school?

One last glance over the shoulder...

...and I'm on the scooter, zooming home.

Alone.

Alone!

Alone?!?!?!

Still processing that one...

Guess Who Is Going to Kindergarten?!

My baby.

You know, that teeny tiny, baby girl that has no business being in school full-time?

But I think she'll like the dress-up center.

And I know snack-time will be a hit.

And her teacher already remembers her as "the one who sucks her thumb."

Luckily, she has lots of experience with school.

But my eyes get a little teary when I realize she is MUCH bigger than the lunchbox these days.

Oh, and this person is going to second grade.

They might as well throw my heart down on the ground and just trample it.

Or poison my coffee...at least the pain would be over quickly and I would die contently caffeinated.

Those old wives who said, "Savor the moments, they go by so quickly," were on to something.

Except they forgot to mention that all the savoring and scolding and kissing and reminding and shaping and hand-holding and giggling and screaming and calming and cleaning and teaching and cuddling and clothing and feeding and squeezing would demand so much.

But they didn't tell me I'd love it this much, either.

Random is Just the Tip of the Iceberg

I honestly don't know what to say about this:

Except that I have never once {before last week} been to an upscale mall and seen a duck standing on top of two turtles right outside of Williams-Sonoma.

The only thing weirder would be turtle-duck-turtle.

Where Did We Leave Off?

Ah yes, the lizards.

And heat.

Have you ever been wilting outside on a 115 degree day then suffocated by a steaming, wet terrycloth robe?

As someone who starts to feel comfortable when the fahrenheit hits 90, I can appreciate a good heat wave. I don't ever think I've been too hot, and I've been to some warm places.

Phoenix in July.

Guatemala.

Northern Costa Rica.

But beneath an unassuming little shelter somewhere south of Cancun, I met my heat match.

The blood stopped moving through my body, my eyelid blink became slower than a garage door closing, and I started to mumble.

All in the name of seeing some alleged ancient ruins by the "Mayans."

First things first: I am not a sightseer.

Maybe in my pre-children vacation days (but probably not).

If I went to Paris, I'd be much more concerned about what I would be eating three times a day than seeing the things like the Eiffel Tower and That Fancy Art Museum.

Me: "I've seen Mona Lisa on the internet, so can we call it quits and go find some gelato?"

Brad, however, would have befriended the museum docent, scheduled a private tour, and set up a time for us to go make snow angels in Leonardo da Vinci's ashes.

Meanwhile, I'd be hightailing it down the street, with baguettes under each arm, dinner reservations at 3 different cafes, and a local shopping discount.

Anywho.

Being less than eager to view the craftsmanship of the Mayans and their big bricks, the heat that covered me like a wool blanket in hell wasn't really helping.

(As you can see by our smiles.)
But hey, now at least we can tell our kids we've seen the Mayans and their buildings that fell apart (much like our modern house.)

However...

PRAISE GOD that this amazing ocean was on the other side of the pile o' rocks.

Do you know the best thing about the ocean?

The breeze.

Do you know the worst thing about the ocean?

Salt.

But I would've drank an ocean full of poison just for the relief from the heat.

However, I didn't consider taking a nap.

After counting, there were over 20 mini-dinosaurs within a few feet of him.

And an ocean.

And he was covered in sand.

At least it made us all laugh.

At which point, we decided to take some pictures.

So we could remember this fabulous day forever.

Josh & Karen almost got carried out to sea.

(Which might've been a better alternative than hiking through the inferno to get back to our car.)

{We forgot to take pictures, but there were six Big Americans in a Ford Comfort.

Which, if I'm being generous, is approximately the size of a mo-ped.

Just ask Brad...he curled up in the fetal position and rode in the hatchback.}

Walking back from the ruins and the ocean in THE BLASTED HEAT, I thought I saw a Mexican mirage:

But luckily, even the toastiest place on this earth had an oasis.

And for me, there is nothing a Blizzard can't fix.

{I didn't even question the lack of peanut butter cups on their Blizzard menu. I didn't care. I would've eaten ground up iguana in a Blizzard and died quickly, but happily.}

After all that fun, the boys still wanted to have MORE FUN that involved MORE sightseeing.

However, we needed a Pool Guard, so I lathered on the sunscreen and laid incredibly still on a float for five lizard-free hours.

Meanwhile, the guys worked on their reverse can-openers.

And then we had dinner.

Me:

*coconut shrimp

*crab cakes

*tuna ceviche

*seared tuna filet

*halibut steak

Brad:

*chicken

I *LOVE* that man.

The End.