Friday, July 31, 2009

Where Did We Leave Off?

Ah yes, the lizards.

And heat.

Have you ever been wilting outside on a 115 degree day then suffocated by a steaming, wet terrycloth robe?

As someone who starts to feel comfortable when the fahrenheit hits 90, I can appreciate a good heat wave. I don't ever think I've been too hot, and I've been to some warm places.

Phoenix in July.


Northern Costa Rica.

But beneath an unassuming little shelter somewhere south of Cancun, I met my heat match.

The blood stopped moving through my body, my eyelid blink became slower than a garage door closing, and I started to mumble.

All in the name of seeing some alleged ancient ruins by the "Mayans."

First things first: I am not a sightseer.

Maybe in my pre-children vacation days (but probably not).

If I went to Paris, I'd be much more concerned about what I would be eating three times a day than seeing the things like the Eiffel Tower and That Fancy Art Museum.

Me: "I've seen Mona Lisa on the internet, so can we call it quits and go find some gelato?"

Brad, however, would have befriended the museum docent, scheduled a private tour, and set up a time for us to go make snow angels in Leonardo da Vinci's ashes.

Meanwhile, I'd be hightailing it down the street, with baguettes under each arm, dinner reservations at 3 different cafes, and a local shopping discount.


Being less than eager to view the craftsmanship of the Mayans and their big bricks, the heat that covered me like a wool blanket in hell wasn't really helping.

(As you can see by our smiles.)
But hey, now at least we can tell our kids we've seen the Mayans and their buildings that fell apart (much like our modern house.)


PRAISE GOD that this amazing ocean was on the other side of the pile o' rocks.

Do you know the best thing about the ocean?

The breeze.

Do you know the worst thing about the ocean?


But I would've drank an ocean full of poison just for the relief from the heat.

However, I didn't consider taking a nap.

After counting, there were over 20 mini-dinosaurs within a few feet of him.

And an ocean.

And he was covered in sand.

At least it made us all laugh.

At which point, we decided to take some pictures.

So we could remember this fabulous day forever.

Josh & Karen almost got carried out to sea.

(Which might've been a better alternative than hiking through the inferno to get back to our car.)

{We forgot to take pictures, but there were six Big Americans in a Ford Comfort.

Which, if I'm being generous, is approximately the size of a mo-ped.

Just ask Brad...he curled up in the fetal position and rode in the hatchback.}

Walking back from the ruins and the ocean in THE BLASTED HEAT, I thought I saw a Mexican mirage:

But luckily, even the toastiest place on this earth had an oasis.

And for me, there is nothing a Blizzard can't fix.

{I didn't even question the lack of peanut butter cups on their Blizzard menu. I didn't care. I would've eaten ground up iguana in a Blizzard and died quickly, but happily.}

After all that fun, the boys still wanted to have MORE FUN that involved MORE sightseeing.

However, we needed a Pool Guard, so I lathered on the sunscreen and laid incredibly still on a float for five lizard-free hours.

Meanwhile, the guys worked on their reverse can-openers.

And then we had dinner.

*coconut shrimp
*crab cakes
*tuna ceviche
*seared tuna filet
*halibut steak


I *LOVE* that man.

The End.


Alli said...

Oh. My. Word.

You are hysterical. Your word choices are golden. Your humor: completely gratifying. Every single time.

Thank you!