Sunday, November 02, 2008

Excuse Me While I Loosen My Belt

It dawned it me that the most avid readers of this blog are in fact, my relatives and more than hearing about the finer points of candy, they want to see pictures of the trick-or-treaters.

Because of cuteness and all.

So here we have Indiana Jones and Dorothy:

Jackson is still working on his mean face. I thought he would look tougher if he had a beard, but he wouldn't let me draw one or use coffee grounds and honey to get an authentic rugged look.

Now here, we have my niece, Belle (not her real name) and Dorothy, skipping gaily through the neighborhood.

I love this view from the back because Dorothy's braids looked mighty wonderful, if I do say so myself. 

Judy Garland had more hair than humanly possible for a 4 year-old to grow, but we did our best given the fine hair and short attention span.

This next picture is one of my favorites:


I love a princess who hikes up her skirt and takes care of bidness. Well done, Belle.

Now I have to talk about candy. I'll start with the disappointments, because there were a handful this year.

I have never IN MY LIFE known a child who just craves, begs for, and desires above all else, hard candy.

To my knowledge, it is darn near impossible to bite/chew/enjoy Jaw Breakers, Now & Later, and Those Gross Strawberry Things.

And Cinnamon Brach's Whatevers?

Whatever.

Honestly, I don't even know if Sixlets are still in production. I have a feeling those "candy coated chocolates" (so original!) are leftover from a Halloween Basket of Olde. 

And this makes me scratch my head:

A Snickers Almond that contains peanuts? I feel like the peanut is the signature nut of the Snickers and downright essential to its composition. 

Putting almonds in it like Hillary Clinton waking up one day and deciding to wear a dress instead of a yellow pantsuit.

I would be totally confused.

This next pile is my C+ batch. If I were stranded on an Isle of Subpar Chocolate and had the choice of Average Chocolate or Death, I would indeed choose the Average Chocolate.

I know some people swear by the Nestle Crunch (and I hear there is a new caramel version that is very tasty) but the Milky Way and 3 Musketeers are just give-ups. 

They really seem like the beef jerky of candy bars; leftover nougat and marshmallow shrapnel from the factory floor are bonded together and coated in chocolate, then labeled and sold. 

Ew.

These are also average students in my grade book:

I'm just not a big wafer fan unless they have one-inch layers or peanut butter between them.

And if you can eat these without gagging, please leave your name in the comments and I will send you ours.


Because really?

Kids and coconut? 

Not so much.

Someone clearly collected these over a year's time from their insurance agent's office:

And they got these from the bank:
ATTENTION PARENTS: I thought we all agreed that since it's a known fact we send our kids out to trick-or-treat to collect candy for us, we would put lots of dark chocolate and upscale goodness like Dove and Ghirardelli in the baskets.

YOU ALL FAILED ME. 

ALL OF YOU. 

THERE WAS NONE.

But these did help mend some wounds:


(Although if anyone wants to donate a big jar of peanut butter and some spoons next time, that would be fine, too.)

This is the other Pile O'Weight Gain from Lilly's stash. Like a good bear cub, she gathered up all of the Peanut M&M's she could find. Bless her.

The Baby Ruth is another favorite due the intense nuttiness and chocolate.

I thoughtfully and intentionally bought a gigantic bag of Double Dark Chocolate Twix to bless the other moms in the neighborhood, but exactly ZERO came back my way. 

The only other minor tragedy was that we received exactly one Butterfinger and Brad and I were forced to Indian Leg Wrestle for it.

Now that we're through the season of candy, I can focus on heart healthy and light fare like pies, cakes, dips, and spreads.

See you at the gym!

8 comments:

Queen B said...

Who the heck buys those nasty strawberry things?

You got ripped on your candy haul.

Kelly said...

we also ended up with a gummy eyeball, gummy bloody fangs, and a fudge-filled skull. no joke. yuck! how hands that stuff to a 4-year-old??? no dark chocolate for us, either, but i did save a few of the reece's nutragous we were handing out and 'recycled' some milky way bars from lucy's basket toward the end of the night. (don't tell!)

Spoiled Mommy said...

*smiles*
We got a lot of nasty stuff too...and my husband was very disappointed. ha!
Ah, better luck next year!

Mandie said...

We got no dark chocolate either. Since the kids can't eat anything with chocolate in it, we are left with your trash pile as our treasures :(. I did have to crack up because the almond Snickers and Almond Joy's are my mom's favorites...weird.

Meg said...

your love of peanut butter i understand. but a love of peanuts so intense as to bump a baby ruth up the ladder above the caramelly deliciousness that can be found in a milky way boggles my mind. also, i personally love those almond joys (but what i wouldn't give for a bounty bar instead). however, i would rather throw up a little in my mouth than eat one of those strawberry things.

Jules from "The Roost" said...

They look SO cute!!! Costumes are wonderful!!! I am off for a L O N G walk too!:)

Donna's Book Nook said...

Hey, I like the almond joy--are there any left? Send them my way. I don't have little kids, and actually didn't even have trick-treaters this year, as we live on a county road. They should take those strawberry things off the market. (I know my comments are a little belated, but I'm just catching up on my blog reading. Donna

Carrie said...

We bought these big bags of Candy assortments and they were really supposed to be great in our mind. But by 8:30 we were dwindling down to a whole lot of leftover milk duds. We couldn't even GIVE the things away. In the end we had better luck giving a way an unused and still packaged toothbrush than the milk duds.