I Just Ate Your Valentine's Day Gift

If you are like me, you have a junk drawer filled with actual JUNK.

I've heard tell of crazy tribal rituals where people organize their junk drawers, but mine is truly a holding tank for the Insanely Miscellaneous.

Like, you know. panties.

Around our house, I am known for throwing things out.

(I am also known for re-buying things I've thrown out at garage sales. See: George Foreman grill and topiaries. But, DANG, they were cheap!)

I hate clutter, stuff, things, and my kids' schoolwork that hasn't been touched in 24 hours. But of course, some things slip through the cracks.

Like matchboxes that are approximately 11 years old.

I think it's safe to say that fire will be obsolete by the time we get around to using these.

Heck, our fireplace isn't even a real fire. Or a real fireplace. So I guess we should call it a "fireplace."

Well anyway, every crafty blog on this entire planet has been featuring these adorable matchboxes covered with cute scrapbook paper.

And then of course, they offer a tutorial on how to do it.

I, however, will just show the finished product:

They are fantastic M&M holders. They hold 12 dark chocolate M&Ms for emergency purse usage. And let me tell you, I've had a LOT of chocolate/purse emergencies.

One of my favorite parts of going to lunch with my mom is that before the food is even cleared, we can pull out an entire course of chocolate from our purses to finish the meal.

My grand plan was to mail these little puppies to all of our family around the country. However, when I realized that TODAY is Valentine's Day and I was going to miss all mailing deadlines, I just ate the M&Ms.

It was the responsible thing to do.

All They Need Is A Cup of Coffee and Some Oatmeal

For those of you that have wondered, either through email, facebook, or in person...we are great.

Since the new year, (and YES, I survived the hated "New Year! New You!" season without breaking any TVs or shredding magazine covers) life has been quieter, simpler, and less hurried.

Take, for example, Saturday mornings:

I walked into the kitchen and found my two favorite offspring busily working at their laptops.

And by "their" laptops, I mean Brad's and my mobile command centers.

There are a lot of important games to play and carefully chosen settings to mess with when you are six and seven years old.

But at least they look cute doing it...in a just-rolled-out-of bed sort of way.

Well Good Morning

It goes without saying that life is more fun with The Incredibles, a Power Ranger, a wookie, some stormtroopers, and of course, Han & Leia.

They all have weapons, super powers, and amazing costumes.

And they were waiting for me in the shower.

Hopefully they'll watch my back while I close my eyes to rinse out the conditioner.

Giant Pound Cake in the Sky

It's taken me awhile to compose this post because of the tremendous amount of emotion that comes when it's time to say good-bye to someone you love.

Yes, that would be my beloved Kitchen-Aid, whose gears spontaneously stopped spinning right in the middle of a batch of whole wheat dinner rolls.

My relationship with her pre-dates my kids and even my marriage.

After getting engaged, it's the very first gift I remember my parents buying for me us.

Because a marriage without lots of warm baked goods is really no marriage at all.

Spring Break '04

As you can observe from the above photo, we've had lots of good times together.

In fact, I did some simple math in my head and realized I've used it at least 12,000 times. And NO, I'm not exaggerating or making up that ridiculously high number.

If anything, it is a low estimate, due to a few years of commercial baking in which I made enough brownies to stretch from here to Russia.

And my 250 watt Lady of Steel is not exactly a commercial grade mixer.

But she was excellent at mixing things. With whisk! With paddle! With dough hook!

There had been signs of it's demise...the large bolt in the back that regularly had to be hammered back in with a mallet...

...the enamel flaking off the paddle attachment and occasionally making it's way into the cookie dough for an extra crunch.
But mostly, it was the noises. Even a child can discern the difference between a well-oiled motor and a revving jet engine that occasionally throws in a high-pitched squeal like a dying seagull caught in the turbine.

Tons of people (like my mom and aunts) have had Kitchen-Aids for decades. Decades. In case the delightful 1980's almond color ever makes an appearance on the fashion scene again, Mom will be retro-chic.

But they have probably not beat theirs into submission like I did.

So anyway, I've been checking on eHarmony and I'm pretty sure I've found a new lady of the house, but I'm pretty commitment-shy at this point.

It's just so soon.

I've also had a few (um, ONE) very generous donation to the Mixer Relief Fund. But I'm urging the rest of you to place whatever change you find in your couches in my urn with the dead flowers out front. Every little bit counts!

Perhaps the most alarming aspect of this whole drama is that Jackson didn't bat one single eyelash when I asked him to pause the Wii and take pictures of me cradling a dead kitchen appliance.

p.s. Would you believe my hand-mixer (the red-headed step-child back-up) died two weeks ago? I'm trying not to interpret that as a righteous judgment on my eating habits.

Dreaming

Now that Christmas is over, can we please fast-forward to summer?

To knee-boarding...

And lily pads...

And diving boards...

And hiking...

And Super Nanny...

And goggles and ice cream and cherry limeades...

To flip-flops and sunshine and no school and heat.

To grass and tank tops and lemonade and swimming and daylight after 4 p.m.

To baseball and hot dogs and the smell of hamburgers on the grill.

And Super Soakers in my sink.

BRING IT.

(Especially the ice cream).

2 Important Things

1. People, I am almost famous. This sweet blogger, Chris, featured the baby shower that Amy and I threw for Harper on her blog, Celebrations at Home!

She is an amazing party planner and decorator extraordinaire. And can you believe that it didn't bother her one bit that my house caught flame in the name of Pom-Pom Beauty?

Any top-shelf party gal knows that excellent parties involve risks.

Thanks, Chris, you rock!

On to the more trivial...

2. I'd like to offer this as a public service announcement:

Don't ride your tricycle in a mini skirt if your BMI is over 35 and you're wearing a diaper.

Lilly had to bring in ONE baby picture for a class project, which of course meant that I spent TWO HOURS walking down memory lane.

And as a free fashion tip, I'd also like to point out that a chin strap is perhaps not the most flattering accessory when paired with ample cheeks.

We Wish You a Merry Christmas!

She's Going to Be 30 in 24 Years

Here is the deal: I am not nearly old enough to have a six year-old little girl.

Oh, who am I kidding...of course I am...but that is neither here nor there. What I mean is that in my mind, Lilly is still a newborn infant, delivered three days before Christmas bringing instant smiles to all of us.

(Especially me...considering she was a miniscule little 7 pounder--a welcome relief on the heels of her Ten Pound Andre-the-Giant Brother.)

Thankfully, she LOVES have a birthday near Christmas time.

She is pretty sure all those lights and decor in your yard are for her.

She makes us laugh--the sight gags, the DRAMA, and the creative storytelling that always makes her look like a superstar to the detriment of her brother.

Her cheeks are still kissable, her thumb (occasionally) suckable, and her snaggleteeth? Adorable.

I want her to grow up.

AND.

I want her to stay little forever.

There's going to be a lot of celebrating today...the streamers, Going Bonkers, ice skating, and a VERY SERIOUS chocolate cake.

And if I take any blurry pictures, I'll be sure to post them soon.

Baby, It's Cold Outside

This is the actual image from the local news station's website:

Y'all, that current temp may be a mistake, but it FEELS true.

I take that back...it actually feels like -784.

Praise God for:

*a warm home

*a mattress pad warmer

*heated car seats

*ample padding on my butt

*my Snuggie

*slippers

*two giant-sized children that love to sit in my lap

*coffee

*three layers of pj's

*pictures of our trip to Mexico

p.s. It is only -11 with a wind chill of -32.

Forgive my exaggerations.

At Least We Haven't Caved to Disney's Grand Marketing Schemes

Brace yourselves, we are still riding the Magical Disney Train all the way to someone's 6 year-old birthday.

On the heels of one of the best vacations of my adult life, we received good news of glad tidings and great joy from Brad's employer.

This year, in the City of Denver, we watched Disney on Ice from the luxury box at the Pepsi Center. That would be a huge upgrade from the nosebleed seats we usually occupy at The Coliseum. (Which, for those of you out of towners, is nothing like the real one in Rome. It's more of a dirty, falling apart, get-me-a-shower-now, what-diseases-am-I-catching, monster truck rally kind of joint.)

Loooonnng story short, a sweet lady at Brad's office was generous enough to work some connections in order to provide Disney on Ice tickets for Lilly, her family, and a few friends.

Even though I'm always one for a delightful, homespun birthday, I will also jump at the chance to NOT clean my house amidst the December craziness.

One of my personal goals for 2009 was to have the kid's birthday parties IN the actual month of their birth. Being that I was still 7 weeks late for Jackson's Mario Bash, I was about to throw in the towel on my lofty birthday goals and aim for Mom of the Year in 2010.

But I was rescued in the nick of time and all I really had to provide were these adorable cupcakes:

They turned out pretty cute, if I do say so myself. Who knew Hobby Lobby carried the perfect cupcake papers for Minnie Mouse?

And it was super easy to make those little zebra and polka dot picks from some scrapbook paper and toothpicks.

Before we go any further, I want to disclaim {AS ALWAYS} that I have exactly zero original thoughts. All decor fabulousness was scalped right off the interweb from other little girls' Minnie Mouse parties and shops where you could buy all of this stuff if you were insanely wealthy and/or lost your mind.

Don't you love my attempts at fancy schmancy photography? I think I caught the cupcakes sunbathing in this picture:

What do you think of that banner? It is hanging where my chalkboard usually goes on my exotic treasure, The Door I Found in My Neighbor's Trash.

I believe those banners are for sale for big money online, or you can feel your hands spontaneously cramp in chorus with mine while you picture all the cutting involved.

What's a party without Minnie ears?

Or cute treat bags?
Or a polka dot table runner I bought on clearance at Pottery Barn last year and forgot I had until it fell out of my island while I was searching for my fall leaf cookie cutters that I didn't find until AFTER Thanksgiving.

Oh, and what does every snacker need?

From the maker of Sith Snacks comes this totally original combination of Stuff I Found in My Pantry.
And no party is complete without my two favorite Mouseketeers:

Even if one didn't hardly make it out of the parking lot without some beauty sleep.

Yes, that is my (almost) 6 year-old in her five-point harness car seat.

Asleep.

At her own party.

While her friends were still awake.

Party on, Wayne.