The day my grandma bought me a pair of turquoise stirrup pants in the fourth grade stands out vividly in my mind to this very moment.
I paired those beauties with an oversized shirt and bangs coated in so much hairspray they had the sheen and durability of a beautiful varnish. Understandably, the boys were not flocking to my locker.
There is no doubt in my mind I looked terrible, but yet my 10 year-old mind felt like I conquered the fashion world.
Which brings me to today.
Twenty years(ish) later, after SWEARING and taking a solemn oath that leggings would NEVER, NO NEVER been worn in my household again, I forked over $4.50 at Forever 21 for not one, but two pairs.
That was about 2 weeks ago, and I've been mustering the courage to wear them.
There are several issues that arise:
a) the shape of my legs
b) my age
c) potentially matching Lilly (and thus looking like a 4 year-old)
d) if I should put Umbros over the leggings
e) do I need legwarmers?
f) do I look like I secretly want to be in 7th grade?
g) butt coverage
h) breaking the sacred fashion mantra: "if you wore it the first time around, don't wear it the second"
i) looking like I am in a Halloween costume a month early.
But just like I was in fourth grade all over again, I threw caution to the Fashion Wind and wore the leggings all day long.
I did get several compliments, but I wasn't sure if people were pitying me (nothing else to say?) or if they just wanted to see my Trapper Keeper.
This summer I bought what I thought to be a cute geometric print dress. After taking off the tags and wearing it once, I realized that it was best suited to standing. Not sitting.
But it's not like I could tuck it in (which I haven't done since freshman year of college) and call it a shirt. (On that note, I hope that tucking in never comes back, but if--or should I say when--it does, I'm sure I'll mock the trend, then jump on board with the same vigor I once had for my Esprit book bag.)
So take a deep breath and here goes...
(You can open your eyes now.)
(And truly, this photo option was a million times better than the one Lilly took.)
(Shocker.)
If you weren't blinded by a) the dress, b) the leggings, or c) the actual flash, than I'm curious about your opinion.
Sort of.
Before even seeing the outfit, my mom emailed and said, "I'm sure you looked adorable."
Really?! Coming from you, Mom?!
I decided to debut this ensemble at Bible study. Not sure if that was smart or not, but it did make me feel (momentarily) better when another girl in our small group showed up wearing her leggings, too.
Of course, she is all of 5'2" and petite and adorable, two things I am seriously lacking. But I'm sure she that while she worried about looking like a Christmas elf or a Mini Peter Pan, my 5'8"-self worried about looking like The Jolly Geometric Giant.
(Which I actually may have.)
I'm not sure that I'll ever wear the leggings again, but here are some things about which I am positive should you decide to wear leggings:
a) NO floral prints
b) NO Umbros over them
c) please do not tuck anything into them EVEN IN THE PRIVACY OF YOUR OWN HOME
d) your butt should not be visible
e) do not pull your socks over them
f) men do not get leggings
g) I realize this is a lot of guidelines for already questionable clothing
h) which is why I am a slave to fashion.
While I'm at it, here are a few other confessions:
a) I've been wearing lots of scarves
b) with flip flops
c) and plum
d) which I used to hate
e) but now love
f) because I am a slave to fashion.
The End
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