Friday, December 12, 2008

O !@#!$^& Tannenbaum

Apparently, Brad did not get the memo regarding appropriate and inappropriate times for photography.

Can I get a shout out for the Christmas 2003 pajama bottoms with horizontal candy cane stripes, YO!

I was sacked out from all the Christmas tree calamity and Lilly was merely held hostage.

Brad loves capturing "candid" moments when I am not prepared to be photographed for the blog.

And you may not believe this, but he asked to do a guest post today.

Brad wanted to make sure that everyone in the blogosphere knows that the Ghetto/Homemade/Rubbermaid Tree Stand was NOT in any way to be blamed for Tree Collapse '08.

Y'all, I can blog about The Man's boxer underwear being held together by unraveling elastic without denting his ego, but to inadvertently question the craftsmanship of a DIY project is out of bounds.

For those of you that haven't seen the man in motion, just know that his middle name is "overkill."

By way of example...earlier this year I asked (demanded) for Brad to construct some shelves for the One Million Miscellaneous Items we store in the basement.

I was just looking for him to throw together some boards to keep my precious home decor items and his precious youth soccer trophies from being trampled by The Mob.

Personally, I would've used hot glue and paint and the shelves would've been CUTE.

Instead, My Main Toolman constructed shelves of such outstanding quality that they will surely outlast the foundation of this house (which isn't meant as a backhanded compliment, seeing as the builder had to re-pour it a few times.)

To any brave soul willing to ask about shelf construction, Brad gazes into his eyes and lovingly holds his hand, while guiding him to his basement shelving masterpiece where he proceeds to demonstrate that these shelves are strong enough to hold a 170 (COUGH COUGH) pound man.

{Edited to add: Brad wants y'all to know that EACH SHELF can hold a grown big ol' adult. Not the whole thing.}

(FOR THE LOVE!)

So just to set the record straight...it was NOT the tree stand engineer's fault.

{I can feel Brad's breath on me as I type this and make sure he is blameless.}

It was the weight of my excessive front-side only ornamentation, coupled with a Dino Tree and bendy-bolt stand that caused the problem.

And now I am scarring my kids with "Rockin' Around the Ficus Tree."

Charlie Brown would be proud.

And my kids will be in counseling for years anyway.


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1 comments:

♥spoiled mommy♥ said...

Hahahahaa...that is too funny.
I love the picture-perfect!