Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Our Theme Colors Were Red, White, & Blue

Even though the Fourth of July doesn't adequately focus on chocolate like some other holidays I adore, it still earns extra points for being in the summer.

I also love that for whatever reason, the Grand Blaster of Fireworks decided that all of the really good fireworks displays should be on July 3rd, thus making a one day holiday into a Two Day Shock and Awe Extraordinaire. 

Originally that decision had to do with safety or something, but seriously?

With the organized chaos out of the way on the 3rd, now we can all try to singe and/or violently burn ourselves when our sons and men try to light the neighborhood ablaze on the 4th. That seems a lot safer than thousands of people seeing fireworks together and driving home.

For sure.

Another thing I love about the Fourth is our church picnic.

I know!

Doesn't that sound dorky? I mean, can you just picture us eating cold side dishes and curdling potato salad off styrofoam plates with an elderly brass quartet playing patriotic songs?

You are so off base because we've upgraded to Chinet.

There are sack races for the kids:

Honk if that's the cutest sack racer you've ever seen!

And there are sack races for the adults:

Brad is representing in the red hat. I love that he doesn't look alarmed that the guy on the left is 6'7" and that his hip bones come up to Brad's armpits.

Brad is just going to hop his little heart out and try to trip everyone as opposed to actually winning the race based on superior quadricep muscles.

That is why they call it "strategery."

And there's cotton candy for the kids: 

Nevermind that the only power source at the park is next to the restrooms, where the cotton candy was stationed. I believe if cotton candy was served in a manure patch by a herd of mutilated elephants, kids would still come running.

And eat it with their hands.

(Excuse me while I go shower.)

Brad's Female Mini-Me and your humble blog author:

Brad's Male Mini-Me...(and why does he get TWO?!)

Also, doesn't it kind of hurt your stomach and your swallowing reflex to think about eating a hot dog while lying down?

Just thinking about it kind of gets a lumpy, hot dog-sized knot in my throat and my breathing slows.

In other news, we had a third baby!

Just kidding...remember her? I just love to hold her and get lost in the plentiful folds of her thighs from time to time. She also enjoys a hearty open-mouth kiss and referring to me as "Da-da."

Anytime she comes for a sleepover, I get my baby fix. Then she goes home and acts all ornery for her parents. 


Question: If you can't suck your thumb at the Fourth of July picnic, where can you?

While riding your bike?

While watching TV?

In between loud, shouting outbursts at your brother?

Yes, of course. 

Now here we have the J-Man working on the 3-Legged Race.

I have to be honest. It was a little ugly and the timing was off. But he laughed the whole way down the field anyway.

Loved it.



Amy said...

I laughed and laughed all the way through this. You're hillarious! And creative! And TALENTED!!! Keep 'em comin! ac

Jessica said...

this could be one of your finest blogs ever. (still laughing!) the comment about bill is hilarious. too bad he wasn't standing all of the way up so people could see that you are not exaggerating! and the cotton candy at the bathroom...glad that someone else was a little turned off by that, too. ha ha...
ps. i'm quite certain that IF you had a 3rd, it most likely would look like you. it would just HAVE to!