Parker Hillbillies

My favorite season of all has begun: Garage Sales.

I'm not exaggerating to say that I love garage sales more than Christmas. 

{well, maybe that's not quite true, but I definitely love them more than Valentine's Day}

If you think about it, garage sale-ing through the neighborhood is like hitting more Christmas sales than I ever dreamed possible while paying only 25 cents for treasures of a lifetime.

Of course, you first need to block out the fact that you're buying other people's garbage.

In case you were wondering, here is what you can fit in a Honda Odyssey:

{that would be SEVEN (7) people and their crap/treasures}

You might be thinking: "I'll bet that van was so full that that the doors were about to come off."

And you would be right.

Except they didn't so much "come off" as they did "fly open ON BOTH SIDES while the car was in motion and a smallish child was riding on a lap en route to the next stop."

Most importantly, no lamps, picture frames, or dishes were harmed.

And here is another confession: At one point we were so packed down that it would've taken an act of Congress to shuffle things enough to make room to get out. 

So instead?

We engaged in Drive By Bargaining in which we pulled up on the curb, rolled down the window, and offered (some might say 'shouted') our best price for that old beat-up looking coffee table sitting alone with no other offers on her.

Needless to say, that wasn't usually a strong bargaining chip.

Before you judge our haul of junk, know that most things are not user-ready.

My trigger finger started twitching halfway through the bonanza, because the amount of spray paint I'll be firing in the next few weeks could graffiti all of New York.

But don't worry, my junk will be much prettier. And if it's not, I'll cover it with another coat of spray paint.