Clearly I Am The One Who's Confused

So before swimming lessons this afternoon, Lilly was struggling to get ready in time to leave.

Couldn't find her swimsuit. {Had it on yesterday.}

Couldn't find her flops. {I could see them while she declared them missing.}

Kept stopping to read instead of actually changing into clothes. {Not to discourage reading or anything, but there's a time and a place.}

So my blood pressure skyrocketed and my veins bulged.

Sometimes instead of actually losing my temper, I talk about hypothetically losing my temper and it seems to calm me down.

Eh-hem.

"Lilly, if you are not in the car with Jackson and me in two minutes, I will be IRATE and that is the most serious form of anger I can think of and I guarantee you will not be pleased with the consequences."

{Doesn't that sound calming?}

Well somehow, she got into the car and it didn't end up to be a very big deal.

Five seconds of silence.

"Mom, do you have some flour and a balloon? Not the kind of flowers you plant but the kind of flour you make cookies with?"

"'Yes' on the flour, 'no' on the balloon."

"Because today at show-and-tell, Siena, a girl in my class, said you can put flour inside the balloon and make a cool ball that you can squeeze whenever you get irate or even just really mad."

"What about if my darling kids just obey the first time so then I don't have to get irate?"

Taking no time to consider that idea: "I think you'd really like the balloon."

Guess I'll be stopping by the party store.