Giving New Meaning to "Guns Up"

Well, hello there.

We flew safely (and PRAISE THE LORD uneventfully) home from Dallas on Sunday. If my math is correct, the kids watched between 7 and 9 episodes of SpongeBob without blinking one single time, and I ignored them completely while finishing up "New Moon."

(Just FYI: I am ready for Francine Pascal to write her Sweet Valley High Soccer Moms series so that I can see what Jessica and Elizabeth are up to these days. Plus, after I finish the Twilight books, I'll be running low on brainless "literature.")

The children of the neighborhood literally came running with arms open to Jackson and Lilly and were swarming the car before we could even unlock the doors.

It seems that I am their main source for cookies and snacks, so they were a little hungry after a week away.

We had a great trip; we relaxed, shopped, and ate some amazing meals at all of my favorite Dallas restaurants. Well, not all, because that would take more than a calendar year to go through the Mexican restaurants alone. But still, we did our best with only a few days.

After the police rescue, Lilly managed to stay mostly out of harm's way, except when she face planted at the park. To no one's surprise, she fell on her mouth and managed to gush blood and ding those front teeth a little more.

Good stuff.

Also in the good stuff category was haunted Halloween houses decorating. Every day, my mom and I tried to plan a craft/activity that involved food. 

We decorated cookies, made toffee, or just plain ate cookie dough. I'm pretty sure that qualifies as a craft.

Anyway, the kids got really into decorating the haunted houses. 

Without Brad to actually read the instructions and attempt to do things in an orderly fashion, the construction was a little shoddy, and I had some significant structural issues.

However, it was still fun and we got remarkably little shocking green, safety orange, or permanent Sharpie black frosting all over my mom's house.

Part of the structural issues were due to Jackson's desire to place the pumpkins on the roof. That put a lot of stress on the walls that I didn't attach quite right in the first place.

The entire time, my mom and I cracked up because Jackson identified each type of candy as either some kind of artillery or weapon.

In case you weren't sure:

Milk Dud = bomb

Candy Corn = missile

gumdrop = grenade

gingerbread bridge = Hummer ramp

chocolate chips = rifles

I'm just glad he's learned that it's important to have a haunted house armed and ready for whatever the trick-or-treaters may bring.

Brad and I are always careful to explain how important it is to have heavy weaponry available on the roof and by the windows at all times.

At the end, Jackson asked me to draw a man on the side of his house.

Which, of course, I did with great detail and precision. I even added some grass at his feet to give the home a warm and comfy feel.

Every arsenal should look lovely on the outside, you know.

And then Jackson armed that man with "double guns."

Just like we always say, "Be ready at the door with your firearms, kids!"