I am Too Sick to Think of a "Wizard of Oz" Pun, But if I Could, I'd Put it Here

Lucky for all of you, The Plague of Sickness and Near Death germs aren't communicable via internet, so you are safe.

I, on the other hand, am nearly two weeks in and wondering if I will be around to see 2010.

At this point, I would say chances are slim.

Just to clearly paint the picture, I made this cake and didn't eat any because I didn't feel like it.

Brad is checking all distinguishing characteristics to make sure a body double hasn't invaded.

(I heard the cake was great, so you'll have to try it sometime.)

Part of my preface is to preemptively apologize for the terribleness of the following narrative.

I am running low on wit and frivolity, so it may read with the excitement of a History Channel documentary on UFO's rather than a crisp and clever SportCenter recap.

However, Dorothy isn't featured much on ESPN.

And neither is the Yellow Brick Road.

Or the Ghetto Brick Road, as it soon came to be known.

It started out 100 feet long and winding beautifully through the front yard.

About 10 minutes later, hurricane strength gusts (seriously. just ask the Denver meteorological team), blew the Yellow Brick Road all over my front yard.

So we shortened it and then Karen injured her foot on it badly enough to warrant x-rays.

But that is either here nor there.

(Karen might feel differently, but moving on...)

Know where to buy a pair of red, classy, sparkly pumps?

The spray paint aisle at Home Depot.

And in case you need some witchy tights for prom this spring, just get some white ones at Wal-Mart and wrap black electrical tape around them.

Toto sitting in a bed of poisonous poppies was a great centerpiece:

And the cake...

I wasn't super-pleased, but there were NO fabulous ideas out there.

Trying to combine "Somewhere over the Rainbow" and the poppies was tough. But the kids woofed it right down anyway.

I had fun throwing a piece of blue and white gingham fabric down for a tablecloth. I cut it to fit and used packing tape to secure it to the table.

Who needs Martha?

You'll have to look up close to see the ruby slipper cookies. I have no idea how they tasted, but they were darn cute.

Oh, and if you were here, I'd offer you a Glinda's magic wand.

(Pretzel rod dipped in white chocolate, rolled in edible white glitter.)

The kids probably would've eaten white crayons if I made 'em all cute, but I went with pretzels anyway.

Favor bags, yo.
While the girls were outside inspecting the deceased Wicked Witch of the East, the rockstar party helpers scurried all the presents upstairs.

After we settled back in, I whipped out a note from the Wicked Witch, saying that she'd taken the presents and Toto, and we'd have to complete three adventures showcasing our brains, heart, and courage to get them back.

Y'all.

Apparently a career in dramatic storytelling is in my future, because I accidentally made a few of the girls cry at the thought of facing the Witch.

Oops.

They recovered, then showcased their fabulous brains by finishing a Wizard of Oz maze.

(Glinda was keeping them safe, thank goodness.)

Next, we pinned the heart on the Tin Man.

Then the kids courageously braved a tornado to rescue some treasure.

I had visions of a huge tornado swirling from the ceiling fan, but after the Witch scare, I'm glad we went with a smaller dust devil, powered by the ol' box fan.

Lastly, the kids had to get the witch's broomstick.

A few of the kids didn't want to brave the witch's lair in the basement, even when I PROMISED them that she wasn't actually down there.

But these girls were strong-willed.

Lilly grabbed that broom and rode it around.

(Have you ever noticed that in the movie, the WW doesn't actually get on the broom to ride it? It's more of a side-saddle approach coupled with terrible special effects.)

Broomstick in hand, witch melted, we headed upstairs to the Emerald City:

Hopefully everyone's imaginations were at full strength since it wasn't overly Emeraldy.

But hey, the presents and Toto were there, so that was all good.

Even better was the cake:

And frankly, there are about 100 other pictures I could show you, but I have to go die.